I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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