Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
