Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
