I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
