Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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