We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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