Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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