yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
