operation harelip BJ is a go
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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