so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize