Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
