I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
