Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You were trust falling into bushes
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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