she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
