i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
