I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
