His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
