Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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