He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I look better un-naked...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
