Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
