The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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