Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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