Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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