haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
