bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
