...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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