Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
