I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
