Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
