My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I need water and some morals
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
