Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
