I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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