My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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