but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
