Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize