What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
