dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize