I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yo dont text me then not text me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
