I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
