Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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