is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
