I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Rumble strips road head = magical
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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