I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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