I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
no you cant smoke seaweed
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
