also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
