is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
