the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
