There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Bring me that man meat
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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