never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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