Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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