Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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