He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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