I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize