check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
