i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
