oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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