i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize