wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
