Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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