you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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