if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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